While crying in public after a certain age is generally discouraged in polite society, there are ways to do so surreptitiously, with grace and tact. If you feel a spell of the blues coming over, and prefer discretion, we recommend heading into one of these local establishments to mitigate the experience for you and those around you.
Hang in there, folks…
Did you even go to high school if you never cried in the bathroom? With respect to privacy, anonymity, and dignity, a bathroom is probably your best bet for when the sadness takes over. That said, you don’t want to cry in just any bathroom – torrential despair and abject disgust, for example, are not a complimentary combination. Therefore, we recommend one of these 8 bathrooms in Houston.
2. Menil or Eleanor Tinsley Park
For a subtle heave, we recommend visiting one of Houston’s prosperous parks. This might seem counter-intuitive (and slightly masochistic) putting yourself in the sightline of people experiencing joy – how dare they – however, being among various herbs, flora, and allergens, you can easily play off your leaky and bloodshot eyes as allergies. For further discretion, you could also put on your sunglasses and bury your face in a picnic basket if that’s more comforting.
3. Dive Bar
Alcohol has a tendency to exacerbate our emotions. Even in a good mood, enough shots can send one on a rollercoaster of emotion running the gambit between absolute ecstasy and a pit full of sorrow. I’ve cried in a bar, you’ve cried in a bar, we’ve all cried in a bar. Play it up to hapless inebriation – it happens. Besides, at many dives, patrons have their own problems to brood over than to pay mind to the skinny white kid at the end of the bar whimpering into his PBR.
For obvious reasons, the cemetery is debatably the most appropriate place to cry in any given city – like laughter is the natural reaction at a comedy club, so is crying the natural reaction at a cemetery. Among ornamental iron games, mausoleums, and monuments, Glenwood Cemetery is also populated with weeping angels so you’ll never be alone.
Since 1971, the Rothko Chapel has served as a modern landmark and quiet sanctuary. Inside the space a stillness is almost palpable, giving visitors a meditative ambiance upon which to look upon the 14 Rothko murals adorning its walls. The chapel serves as respite from the chaos of daily life, therefore, visitors come to meditate, pray, and, in our case, quietly cry – it’s a sanctuary after all.
Let’s be real, weeping in public makes people uncomfortable. However, this discomfort is easily mitigated when it’s perceived as a natural reaction. Thus, if you’re among an audience watching, say, The Notebook, it’s the audience members not crying that are the weird ones. Rooftop Cinema Club also gives the added bonus of all audience members wearing giant headphones, so if it’s uncontrollable sobbing that takes over, it won’t be noticed so long as it passes before credits roll.
7. West Loop
Speaking from experience, no amount of time spent in Houston will ever alleviate the incomprehensible excruciation of sitting in standstill traffic on West Loop on a weekday afternoon. In such cases, one is permitted guilt-free, full-fledged emotional breakdowns inside their vehicles (windows up or down, we’re all going through it).
On the 35-acre Lanier estate in Northwest Houston is a English village complete with a 17,000-square-foot Oxford-inspired library, train, and cobblestone street. The Lanier Theological Library itself is equipped with plenty of nooks and crannies to hide away as you cry over your copy of A Little Life or The Book Thief.
I think we can all agree that stranger things happen in Walmart on a daily basis. Ugly crying in the health & beauty section is pretty much par for the course at Walmart.
10. Tex-Mex Bar
This is more of a challenge to those readers of ours who consider themselves sad sacks. Because we’ve never cried while drinking a margarita and eating a plate of nachos – and will go so far as to say that it is virtually impossible – we defy you to try. If the essentials don’t work their power, we recommend sitting close to the kitchen. In which case, you can justify your sweaty eyes with the wafted air of chopped onions.
11. Houston Sport Stadiums
While many of us have accumulated a thick skin over the years, watching the Texans and Rockets lose year after year can wear down the soul even with the lowest of expectations. And with the Astros, higher expectations can make the playoff losses even more crushing. If you’re not afraid of ending up on one of those crying fan-montages that networks like to put together, you can let the tears fly in Houston sports stadiums among mostly sympathetic like-minded beings.